My Dad, Leaving us a Legacy of Loyalty and Laughter

The past few weeks have been one of those weeks that you wonder about later--how did I get through it without totally losing it? I don't have to wonder long to realize that it is the grace of God that carried me. What a miracle! How amazing! Thank you sweet Holy Spirit for lifting me up and carrying me.

The last few months have been a journey that given the choice I would not have made. The journey actually began in 2004 when my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease. The news was daunting. Our first thought was that Dad would never want this to happen, never be a burden to anyone--he was a giver-not a taker. Dad was our family stability, our strength, our patriarch--what would we do?. It was hard to imagine that he would slowly lose his ability to remember, that he would eventually live in a world where he might not recognize his family. It broke our heart to think about what our parents would face. But, as we always do as a family, we unified and pooled our strength, we sought God's help in a helpless situation,and we prepared to go on this journey together with as much grace as God would give us.

My mother's life changed. She became the caretaker. She had always handled their finances but soon she could no longer share those decisions with our father. She struggled to change the way she did things. What a shock for her to realize that she could not always tell my dad the things she shared before, that in fact she had to stretch the truth to protect him. How difficult it was for her, a woman who never thought to lie to anyone in her life must now withhold information or out and out lie to dad to protect him.

Life became more difficult as dad became more confused. He became some what paranoid, thinking someone was in the house when no one was there. He worried that people wanted his beloved, broken down pick up or wanted to buy his cabin when he didn't want to sell it. He forgot that he had just eaten all through the day--he gained so much weight that as he began to stumble and fall our mother couldn't help him get up without help. His mind seemed to jump around in time--one moment thinking he was young and in the army or even 13 again.

We knew it was time. Time for our mother's health and ultimately for dad to change their living arrangement. God brought us a wonderful group home just blocks from their home. A place where dad was cared for and mom could be with him without the burden of his daily care. We praised God that they had the finances to do this--God showed himself faithful to these faithful people.

I could go on about the sad part of his illness, but instead let me tell you more about this man. He was a solid man, loyal, faithful, trustworthy, salt of the earth, happy, laughing, rough around the edges, encouraging, bow legged and as my children said over and over again in their video taped memorial talks--amazing! Was he perfect? no. Was he "spiritual"? no. But was he godly? Yes. He rarely spoke about God--but he lived as a Christian should live. He lived a giving life. He didn't attend church regularly until he was 70 years old, when after attending a church service with us, he said to his brother-in-law "I don't know about you, but I think I need to be going to church". He started going to church with my mother every Sunday and to their senior life group every Thursday and did that until he was not able to go anymore.

When we visited dad in the group home it was quite "a trip". He would tell stories on a "loop" sometimes going around and around with the things he said. But between every sentence or "loop" he would laugh. In many of his stories of the past he would say "and then I just laughed" followed by laughter. One day he said to us in response to "how are you dad?" "Well, we just go back from Africa". Such a shock since not only had he never been there but had never mentioned wanting to go there. We just went with it, asking him if he had a good time etc. Sometimes, I have to be honest, it could be pretty entertaining. Of course we loved it the most when he told his favorite life stories--even if we'd heard it a million times.

Then, the end became evident. Our mother mentioned that as she visited he was sleepy more often than not. God had begun to call him home.

That's when the last month began for us. As we traveled to California to be with 2 of our kids for Thanksgiving, we hadn't gotten outside of Phoenix more than 100 miles when we got a text telling us that John's brother Al had not shown up for his dialysis appointment the day before and he wasn't answering his phone. We quickly called a mutual friend to go to his apartment to check on him. Our friend called back within a few minutes to sadly tell us that he'd found Al "gone" lying in his living room. Deep sorrow hit us as we turned the car around to go back to face the next few days as we laid Al to rest. But we began to marvel at the fact that John had been able to spend time with his brother the Saturday before. That John was able to share his love of God with Al again for the umpteenth time, but this time got Al's agreement that Jesus was the way to salvation. Al did what he rarely did--he put his arms around his brother and told him that he loved him, neither realizing it would be the last time on earth that they would see each other. Faithful Lord, to have reached out in the eleventh hour to a man who had essentially ignored him all these many years. God's mercy immense in his life. John preached at his memorial and we rejoiced in Al's home going.

The night of Al's memorial Dad began his final journey home. We realized the next day that he had slipped into sleep, into a coma. It seemed that we were starting the long vigil of ushering him into a new life with God. But in God's mercy it was only a couple of days. My sister and I took turns staying with him for the next 36 hours.

I want to share with you the amazing experience. Yes, it was difficult. It was hard to see his labored breathing. It helped when the wonderful hospice nurses told us that he wasn't in any pain and told us that it was "hard work" to die sometimes. As they gently cared for him they encouraged him by saying "Sam, you're doing a good job". It became apparent that dieing was much like giving birth--laboring towards letting the spirit leave the body. The nurse described the process to us and we marveled at how God had created the human body to shut down gradually.

So we waited for our dad to step out of his body and into the presence of God. The night before he left, I was alone with him for some time. I was blessed to find a Michael W. Smith CD that I put in the CD player. I sang worship "with my dad". "Amazing Grace how sweet the sound....my chains are gone, I've been set free." I talked to my dad about the exciting experience that was coming, that he was indeed blessed to soon be in the presence of God. A sweet experience I will not forget.

The next day as my sweet son Chuck (how appropriate that the grandson named after him would be there) sat with his grandmother and me, we saw Dad open his eyes and he seemed to be able to hear us. We spoke words of love and encouragement to him. Mom told him that she would be okay, that they would both be okay. Chuck talked to his grandpa--telling him that he loved him. And we waited together.

The nurse asked to care for dad for a few minutes and we left the room. Feeling somehow secure that the nurse with him, my mother ran up to the bank. As the nurse came out of the room she smiled and motioned and I knew that Dad was about to slip into eternity. The nurse told us that as she was ministering to him he gripped her hand, opened his eyes wide and smiled a huge smile. As we walked in we saw him smiling and then we saw him release his spirit with that smile on his face and we saw his face as he slipped away. Glory Hallelujah! The nurse standing at the end of the bed said "now he's born again". Odd to say that--but true--he had a new spiritual body as he entered into God's presence. After he was gone, my friend Gail and I along with my mother, turned on that CD from the night before and worshiped together at his bedside. My mother was sad that she wasn't there as he passed--but we all knew that God understood that perhaps it would have been too difficult. Our God is so faithful.

At his memorial service, his pastor said that God showed him a picture of Jesus gathering the angels and giving dad a standing ovation as he entered those gates. Our niece Amy, who played the worship music for the memorial, told us that a song went through her head as she played and sang. It said, "if you could only see me now, you wouldn't be sad". Our God is so great to give us those images to remember.

At the end of the day, all I could say is that my dad lived a good life and he must be living an amazing life now. God honored my sister's prayer that Dad pass before he got to the point that he didn't recognize us. She didn't want our dad to be scared in not knowing those around him. And even the week before he recognized us. Thank you Lord, for your grace and mercy. We miss him but not for long, this life is fleeting and soon we will also step into eternity into the arms of our loving Father, and our loving dad.

Dear Great-Grandma Me

Have you ever said to yourself "I will never be like my mother (or any other relative in the family)? Maybe someone has told you "you are so much like Aunt Emmie" and you thought to yourself "Oh Lord, please don't let me be her when I am older". I'm pretty sure most of us have someone in our lives who exhibit behaviors or attitudes that really bug us and may even pray that we won't be like them when we are older.

Working as a volunteer in a nursing home and having parents who are polar opposites in attitude as they've aged, I have had ample opportunities to think these very thoughts. I've also been able to observe numerous elderly gals--some who I wanted to be, others who scared me to death thinking I could be like them.

Years ago I coordinated the volunteers who answered the phone at a church, I remember coming home and telling my husband " I want to be just like Elizabeth when I'm 75 or even I want to be just like Sylvia when I'm 84." Elizabeth was a retired school principle who always had an encouraging thing to say, who traveled and enjoyed every day of her life despite having difficulty walking. Or Sylvia who had been volunteering at the church for many, many years. She was such a delight. At one point we asked all the volunteers to answer the phone "thank you for calling Westminster Presbyterian Church, how can I direct your call". She would listen attentively and each time she answered the phone we'd hear a loud "Presbyterian Church!" come from the volunteer desk. How can you argue with an 84 year old woman who came to church for her weekly volunteer time and had to brace her self against the hallway wall to get to the receptionist's desk because she was so dizzy she couldn't stand up straight? That's dedication. I want to be like her.

In a previous blog I mentioned a lady who was a temporary rehab resident in the nursing home. The light on her face told me that this woman had loved God for a very long time. How beautiful to hear her sweet voice tell me now much she loved God and that when she got out of the nursing home she was going to start giving free piano lessons to needy children in her area. Remember? She's 84 years old.

I've also mentioned my great-aunt Bill who taught Sunday School until she was 89 years old and is still living alone at 95--mostly blind, body bent entirely over with osteoporosis. Her answer to "how are you today" is always "fine" and she means it!

So, after mulling this over, I said to my sister just last night "I think I'll write a letter to future me to remind me to avoid some of those attitudes and behaviors" I'll read it every year. It was a joke at the time but as I got up this morning I thought--this is really a good idea. So here goes.

Dear Great Grandma Cindy
I want to remind you of a few things to remember these days. I'm sure it will be easy to feel sorry for yourself as your knees ache and your memory is even worse than it is now.....now that's a scary thought--moving on......Here's some things I want you to remember:

1. Have an attitude of gratitude. Say thank you often and generously. Don't ever think that because you are old, giving birth to them was excruciating, or they ought to do it just because you deserve it after all these years, that you don't need to say thank you for every considerate thing that someone does for you. Say Thank You and mean it!

2. Pray, pray and pray. You have so much more time to spend at the throne of Grace these days--spend it on those rickety knees of yours (even just in our head) for others. This is probably the most valuable thing you will ever do. This purpose alone is enough warrant still being on this earth.

3. Seek God with all your heart. Get to know Him better every day. It won't be long before you see Him face to face. You'll want to know Him in the deepest way possible. The closer you are to Him here, the closer you'll want to be in eternity.

4. Read your Bible DAILY (or listen to it on CD if your hearing is gone) The Word of God will lift out of the doldrums and give power to your prayers.

5. Love those great grandkids unconditionally. Don't worry about the multitude of piercings or tattoos or whatever the latest dress fad is. It is your job to love them not to judge them. It is your job to pray for them and tell them how much God loves them and what a fabulous plan for their lives he has (even if it doesn't seem at all possible).

6. Do the same thing for your kids. They are grandparents now--be an example of that love and acceptance. Be the grace of God in their lives.

7. Rejoice! Rejoice that you will soon see your Savior face to face. Think in terms of eternity. This life of aches and pains is short--becoming shorter every day. Be happy knowing that this world is not your home--you are at the end of the pathway--only a few more steps to go.
Halleluiah!!!!!

And last but not least--Be happy knowing that God has been your Lord all these many years, that He has been faithful all the way through. That you are loved and as beautiful to God today as you were on your wedding day.

Love,
Grandma Cindy


So instead of just filing this away, I think I'll get it out every few months to remind myself that in order to live those things I need to prep now. Live a life of love, gratitude, kindness and prayer NOW.

We wrestle not.......

Why is it that we are taken aback when a wrench is thrown into the works of our lives? Even when we are doing what we believe God has told us to do AND it is obviously the right thing according to the Word of God.

For several weeks I've felt the spiritual need for my husband and I to get a way for a time of prayer. We needed to seek God's guidance and get a spiritual break through. The best place in the world is the family cabin. It's quiet, serene and a perfect place to "be still and know that He is God". (not to mention 15-20 degrees cooler Praise God Hallelujah)

When we arrived I thought okay God--here we are at last. You've called us here so I'm expecting a great and mighty outpouring of wisdom. Okay--here we are. Willing and obedient. We're ready........

So we're up bright and early and ready to take our walk. In fact, we have a wonderful time sharing our hearts and talking about where we think God is taking our home church. We share what God has done in our lives over the last few weeks. Through our words we do indeed hear the voice of the Holy Spirit as we walk. We hear God say that we are to go forth and storm the gates of hell with the Word of God, that God will provide the resources that are needed to go forth with the purpose that we are called for. We know that God will gather us into His heart and His passion as we allow ourselves to be used to gather the lost and encourage the Beloved.

Matthew 16:18 (King James Version)
18And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it

Now I'm thinking Thanks God! This is great. We've got a glimpse of our next steps and away we go. We both love a good plan that we believe God is directing.

So we get back to the cabin and because this is still a work day for John, he needs to prepare for a phone appointment that he will conduct at the cabin. After his phone meeting we planned to go up to a retreat center which we are dreaming about buying to pray and worship the Lord. (Dream big I always say).

So John checks his email to verify his info for the call and what does he see but a fiery dart of the enemy, designed to negate and discourage our hearts from the path that God has shown us that very morning. I wish I could say that we didn't sway a bit--that we stood firm without doubt from the second he saw it. That we grabbed up that shield of faith and held it high against the fiery darts. Alas, even after a morning of time with God and each other, we felt ourselves sway with what felt like a trembling of the earth beneath our feet.

Ephesians 6:16
above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one

But! we knew that God was calling us to move forward--to trust Him. So with less enthusiasm than before we looked at each other and decided to continue down the path that God had set for our day. We drove to the retreat center where God blessed us with being able to actually meet the caretaker and get a short tour. We drove around the property and prayed for the impossible--that God would give us that very retreat center for His work.

Again, I wish I could say that we prayed with a huge amount of confidence but unfortunately our hearts were over shadowed by that fiery dart. We went back to the cabin and poured out our hearts to God. We poured out our disappointment and a bit of our fear. But! We declared God's righteousness and goodness. We thanked Him for his mercy, faithfulness to us and his amazing Grace. We told Him that we knew that He was still our King and that were still his kids--Kingdom kids in fact--part of the royal priesthood.

Although the drive back home wasn't filled with exuberant joy--it was filled with a knowledge that God would never leave us nor forsake us.

Today I realize that the battle with the enemy doesn't always end with an ah-ha moment or a joy filled heart. Sometimes we feel battle worn and weary. There's a reason that the Bible calls it spiritual warfare. It's a battle. We are called to persevere and stand and doing all to stand some more. Sometimes, despite how we feel or the fear that lurks on the edges of our mind, we just have to walk in obedience anyway, knowing that the Lord is our God, that we are His children and the sheep of His pasture. And we must remember that the Word of God says that joy truly comes in the morning.

Getting a running start

Why do I keep going around and around this same mountain? Do you ask that question like I do? Do you say, why can't I get over the fear and anxiety about getting through an issue?

That's what I've done all week. I've allowed fear to keep me from running through this issue. I know everyone has something like this in their lives. It's something that you just hate to do. It could be temporal--of this world--like mine. I hate paperwork and I put it off as long as possible. This allows fear to control me more and more. Yours might be a direct spiritual battle--an addiction that holds you back, a fear that controls your dreams and thoughts, a life situation that you think will never change, so you don't take steps to change it.

So today I heard God say. You need to get a running start this morning. You need to be empowered with my spirit to jump back into this race. So I hopped up out of bed, grabbed my Bible, the book we're studying with the TLs and began my morning calisthenics--PT is what they call it in the military. Warming up for the battle.

I read Joyce Meyer's book "The Battlefield of the Mind" which reminded me to take my thoughts captive--those negative, hopeless thoughts. Instead I pulled up scriptures that I needed to warm up my spirit--to "let this mind be in you which is in Christ Jesus" Romans 12:1,2. I focused on the Lord and sang praise to His name. I claimed his promise of faithfulness to me. I knew that I am in a battle to overcome this fear once and for all.

I watched a couple of TV programs that built me up and reminded me of God's power to overcome.
I prayed as people came to my mind throughout the encouraging words that I was receiving. (Thank you Life Today for featuring Beth Moore every Wednesday on your show.)

Then I stood over that pile of scary paperwork (for it had indeed become a monster in my mind) and prayed in the Spirit. And yes, I did pray in tongues. As it poured out over the problem--a problem that I was unsure about how to pray--a new tongue was released and I felt the amazement of God's magnificent mercy pour over me.

I now have my running start. I am prepared to battle--not the paperwork--but the fear that had grown to an overwhelming size.

Do you have something that has grown from a mole hill to a mountain in your life? God is not concerned about the size--for He can shake the earth at His discretion. He can and will take you by the hand to run the race, if indeed you life up your hand, and warm up for the race.

Do you have heart burn? You should.

Don't you love the mornings when you wake up knowing that God had surrounded you as you slept. That His protective helmet of salvation had kept the worry away. That's how I felt as I woke this morning. This was a welcome relief from the temptation to worry and fret that has been hovering around me this week. As I fully woke and realized that God had pushed back the worry, I began to glorify God as the song "Worthy, you are worthy",rolled through my head and lifted my heart.

As I prayed I remembered an acronym that I heard from a pastor. She used ACTS to remember the following:
A---Adoration
C---Confession
T---Thanksgiving
S---Supplication

So, that's how I proceeded. I adored God for who He is, I confessed my lack of belief and fear, I thanked Him for all that He is to me, and I surrendered anew to his direction and power.

It was funny really. Each time I started to pray for someone I was directed to hold off--to continue in my ACTS. After a period of time, the Holy Spirit began to pray for the needs of our body but somehow I knew that they were covered already. I knew that as long as I continued in ACTS that He would take care of those things. I realized that what He wanted most from me was my love and to trust Him.

Then I jumped into the scriptures. I was determined to print out the promise that God gave my hubby this past week (just before he was laid off from work). It was I Chronicles 28:20. He wept when he told me. His heart is so softened because he has spent so much time in the Word lately.

1 Chronicles 28:20 (New King James Version)
“Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD."

Is that great or what? I just printed it out in big letters and posted it around the house. This will remind us that God indeed will be with us--never going to leave us nor forsake us.

But then, as God does it sometimes, I ran across this scripture.

Luke 24:30-34
30When He had reclined at the table with them, He took the bread and blessed it, and breaking it, He began giving it to them.
31Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him; and He vanished from their sight.
32They said to one another, "Were not our hearts burning within us while He was speaking to us on the road, while He was explaining the Scriptures to us?"
33And they got up that very hour and returned to Jerusalem, and found gathered together the eleven and those who were with them,
34saying, "The Lord has really risen and has appeared to Simon."

It made me stop in my tracks when I read "were not our hearts burning within us.... while He was explaining the scriptures to us."

Wow! and wow! I realized that this is what should happen every time we read the scriptures--our hearts should burn within us--knowing that the Holy Spirit himself opens up our hearts to the truth of the scriptures. Just as the disciples knew that they had been with Jesus when they realized that the burning sensation within them was there to verify Christ's identity.

John 14:26
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you

That tells me something--it tells me a lot in fact. It tells me that I need to be in the Word more often. It tells me that I can experience a passionate response to those scriptures the more I read and allow the Holy Spirit to verify Christ's identity and love through those very scriptures.

Lord, this very day give me "heart burn". Cause my heart to burn as I read the Scriptures. I want that passionate response to the scriptures Lord. Holy Spirit, rise up in me to teach me and light that fire of passion within me. Thank you God, for you are faithful to do just that. Thank you for your gift of the Holy Spirit.

Don't just sit there--get out there and find your purpose!

What do you sit around thinking you wish you could do? What is that you wish you had done? Do you ever think "when did the world pass me by?"

Last night the Tiara Ladies had a night at the movies. We donned our sparkly tiaras, grabbed some extras just in case we ran into any ladies we met who needed one, and happily congregated at the local movie theater. We got there early to get in line for Meryl Streep's new movie, Julie and Julia.

We hugged some friends we hadn't seen in a while, gave them their tiaras, and sat down for 2 hours of blissful movie watching. Needless to say we loved the movie. Meryl Streep is an amazing actress. She so beautiful takes on the personna of Julia Child that you believe she really is Julia Child. She exhibits the joy of life the Julia exhibited. We laughed at the opening scene of Julia with an ecstatic look on her face as she tasted perhaps her first taste of marvelous cuisine in Paris. We shared her joy of the city and of the people. We quickly understood that she had found her "home" for the first time at the age of 46. She also sought and found her purpose.

As a Life Purpose Coach with Life Purpose Coach Centers, it is my joy to coach women into finding their God-given purpose. Nothing is more fulfilling to me than to spend 2 intense, wonderful days side-by-side with a woman as she discovers that indeed her life was not wasted--that God is always at work in our lives. What a joy when she looks into the future with hope, knowing that everything she's done and every bit of her pain and joy can be used to fulfill God's perfect design for her. What joy to discover that the embers of her talents, desires and passions can be blown into a fire again in her life.

Has it ever occurred to you that things only pass you by if you are sitting still? And even if those things seem to be racing by you--if you are moving they won't pass you by so quickly and eventually I promise you, you will catch up.

How to find your purpose? Do what both Julia's did--get up, get started. Scripture says seek and you shall find. Let's not ever forget the seeking part.

Pick up a few lobsters and give it a shot!

Enjoy something new or revive something old

I love creating. My latest creation will be a raggedy quilt for my grand daughter. I was inspired to start this quilt by Phoebe, a nine year old who comes to my house with her mom on Wednesdays for sewing lessons. Her latest project is a flannel raggedy quilt. I'd seen them before but never thought about making one until I saw how cool her's is turning out. (I am an exceptional copy cat).

While online researching how to make a rag quilt, I ran across this cool website that had not only step by step instructions but excellent pictures. Being one who loves easy to follow instructions I was thrilled. After perusing the quilt instructions I explored this wonderful ladies blog. Her name is Jen Yu(See her pic above).

I discovered that she loves to cook, is an avid shutterbug, creates beautiful sewn creations, loves the outdoors, travel, and has an amazing professional background of mechanical engineering, tectonic geomorphology, satellite remote sensing, radar interferometry, software programming, web design and development. Wow, now that's a renaissance woman!

Here's something else I discovered. She underwent chemotherapy treatments for cancer. Visit her web page and please note that she went skiing between the 4th and 5th treatment.
Here's her website http://jenyu.net/about.php

She inspires me. She lives life, being who she was created to be in spite of the trials that seek to stop her in her tracks.

I don't know if she is a Christian. Her page doesn't mention God. And I can't help but believe that this would enhance her obvious enjoyment of creation.

She also inspires me to realize that as Christians we should do the things she is doing. Live out the purpose that God created us to live. Seek out and explore worlds where no man has gone before. (Sorry, slipped into Star Trek mode.) Go through trials with an upbeat attitude--not letting it stop us.

Come on ladies, get out there and try something new. Revive some creative activity from your past. Go on the mission trip you've always wanted to go on. Hike the trails you said you'd always hike. Finish that project that's sitting in her closet. Save your pennies and travel to that one spot in the world you've always had a craving to see. Take a class in something that you think you just might have a talent for. Teach someone how to do something you're good at. Volunteer in nursing homes, libraries, hospitals, soup kitchens. Be who God created you to be. Do the things God created you to do. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it! God is on your side and if you take that first wee step He is faithful to complete his work in you!

Grace, grace and more grace

One of my favorite relatives in the world visited this week. She is my father's only sibling and is 85 years old. She came to see her brother who is a victim of Alzheimers disease. This is in fact the first time in 20 years or more that she has come here to visit--before my dad's illness, he and mom would visit Texas where she lives regularly so there didn't seem to be a need.

So, she braved flying alone to come spend 10 days with my mother and to daily visit my Dad. Before her arrival I asked our home church to pray for her. She is a bit of a nervous person and I was afraid that she would be somewhat--well let's say it as it is--hysterical when she saw my dad. It has been 3 years since I took him and my mother out to Texas to see her. He has gone from a mild state to a more severe state of the disease and I knew it would be a shock to her.

I asked our home church to pray about something else. To pray that I would have an opportunity to encourage my Aunt. She is a believer in God, saved by grace, but struggles with the grace portion of her salvation. She just can't believe that she doesn't have to "do" anything to earn the salvation. She often brings up the topic when we get together.

And by that same grace, God brought up the topic once again as we were driving back from the family cabin this week.

She asked me a question that frankly shocked me. "She said where do people go after they die? Where do they go to be judged first?" I was surprised because I knew that although she is not a student of the Word, that she has been in many churches where the truth of grace was taught.

I explained that the scripture says that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. No ifs, ands or maybes--if a person has believed on the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation from their sins, they are in God's presence immediately after death. I reminded her of the thief on the cross--someone who had lived his live most probably deep in sin, rejecting God, but through God's grace and mercy in the last few seconds of his life he believed that Jesus was His Savior and Jesus told him that very day he would be with Him in paradise.

I thought perhaps she'd had some teaching on the Great White Throne of God which Revelations teaches all creation would face in the later days. I explained that it was not a judgment to determine whether a person got to stay in heaven or was cast into hell--it was one where God judged what we had done with the life He had given us. A time indeed of sadness and regret for the things we had not done for God's glory but also one that awarded crowns for the fruit in our lives. But these crowns would be given back to God--our love and appreciation causing us to recognize that all good things that we had produced were produced by that same grace that forgives us.

I encouraged her to know that God forgives us all our sin. I explained that anything that keeps us from God is indeed sin, but the real tragedy is that the sin keeps us from walking close to our Lord, from loving Him with all our hearts, from knowing the intense feeling of being loved by the Creator of the Universe.

I felt that "rush" of knowing that the Holy Spirit was imparting a special word for her and for me as the vessel to speak of His Love to her.

It was a bittersweet few moments as we waited for her plane to take her back to Texas. I knew she was regretting that she hadn't come sooner and very sad that this might be the last time she will see Dad before he passes. My prayer for her is that she sees this not as an ending but as indeed the beginning of eternity. That she knows that the next time she sees him he will be fit and fiddle--doing that little jig that he does with his short little bow-legged legs. My prayer for her is that she will receive the blessed peace that comes with understanding that God's grace is wider and deeper than anything we can possibly imagine. I pray that her last years will be filled with His comfort and His peace knowing that she has nothing to fear in death.

Finishing Strong

This week I had the privilege to minister once again at the nursing home. As I prayed that God would give me just the right devotion for those dear people, I ran across a book titled Finishing Strong. The title stuck with me and God gave me a word about finishing our lives strong, no matter how often we had fallen time and time again in the past. What a wonderful thing to be reminded of--that indeed we can finish strong despite the many starts of stops in our lives.

I shared the story of the thief on the cross who certainly spent 99.9999% of his life in sin, rejecting God. But indeed at the last moment he crossed the finish line with a burst of energy given to him by Jesus himself hanging next to him on the cross. Not only is this a beautiful portrait of God's grace even in the Eleventh hour (11:59 to be exact), but also a picture of finishing strong. I enjoyed sharing this message of hope to those sweet people. I should have guessed that I might be seeing my enemy again this week--he's not too keen on Holy Spirit messages being shared in places of strongholds.

So as I've shared in other posts, I've struggled with fear off an on throughout my life. Praise God for his mercy in overcoming that fear time and time again in my life. I should have known that the enemy would try another attack in that arena....

Last night the battle took place again. When the enemy jumped in front of me, I was taken aback by the fear that welled up inside of me. I looked up at God and asked "What happened here God?", why wasn't the fear going away?. I cried out to God. At first I was even fearful that the fear wasn't going to go away--that I would be stuck again. Panic began to set in.

I started quoting scripture and the enemy began to step back, but not all the way. Again, okay God what is this all about? The Holy Spirit is always very willing to answer that question and I felt the conviction of an old sin that had resurfaced this past week, I even remembered making light of it. Then, I realized that I had given Satan a space to jump back in front of me. Well, believe me, with fear and the enemy staring me in the face, I was on my face in repentance.I was able to stop in my tracks, say "get thee behind me Satan" and start down the race path again.

Then a funny thing happened, a realized that a song had been running through the back of my mind the whole time. Now I know what you are thinking--probably a worship song. If you are thinking that you would be mistaken. In fact, believe it or not it was a song from the musical movie Mama Mia. Strange, you may be saying, how could that be? It might be because several times a week my 2 year old granddaughter visits and that just happens to be her favorite DVD so we play it over and over again--dancing and singing along with the karaoke version--I swear the first words she'll be reading are "Mama mia, here I go again". Anyway, back to the song.


The song that was going through my head was "Lay all your Love on me". Again, you may be thinking how in the world was God speaking to me through this song during an attack of the enemy? Here are the words that ran over and over again in my head:

"Don’t go sharing your devotion lay all your love on me"


Okay God, I get it. When I allowed this sin to take hold of me for even a few minutes I was sharing my devotion with the sin--I was running to it for comfort in a moment of stress. In essence I had removed myself from God's arms of love.
It was interesting when I played the song to myself this morning that there was another line that jumped out at me.

"I feel a kind of fear when I don’t have you near"

Pretty interesting stuff huh? Perhaps the fear comes from putting something between me and God.
Hmmmm.....

One word of warning--not all the lyrics are applicable--it is a song written by Abba for goodness sakes. We're not going to be singing this song in home church this week--that's for sure.

BUT, God can use anything to speak to us can't He? As I've shared in past posts, most of the time God speaks through His Word, worship music etc. But today he chose to use something else.

He also reminded me off a great tool to use in times of stress and fear, but I'll share that in another post.


Here's a great scripture:


Job 11:13-20 (The Message)

13-20 "Still, if you set your heart on God
and reach out to him,
If you scrub your hands of sin
and refuse to entertain evil in your home,
You'll be able to face the world unashamed
and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.
You'll forget your troubles;
they'll be like old, faded photographs.
Your world will be washed in sunshine,
every shadow dispersed by dayspring.
Full of hope, you'll relax, confident again;
you'll look around, sit back, and take it easy.
Expansive, without a care in the world,
you'll be hunted out by many for your blessing.
But the wicked will see none of this.
They're headed down a dead-end road
with nothing to look forward to—nothing."

The Legacy that You Leave

I’m still reading (and loving) Tim and Darcy Kimmel’s book Extreme Grand Parenting, The Ride of Your Life.

I love their encouragement to grandparents. I love their admonition to our generation to be torchbearers, legacy builders, standard-setters for the generation and yes even generations to come. One of the best parts is, just like it’s never too late to come to Christ, it’s never too late to start afresh to be the person God has called you to be to your children and to your grandchildren. I love their straight forward and yet grace-filled instructions on how to live the Christian life.

One example in their book was about 2 different individuals in the same ICU ward. Both were parents and grandparents and yet polar opposites. She was a woman of meager circumstances; he a man of industry. But the most important way that they were polar opposites was the way they left their world when they left it. She had invested her whole life in nurturing her family, being that torchbearer for them to follow, he on the other hand had invested his life in building wealth and success. There in the ICU each of her family near and distant came to say their goodbyes, he had few to come to his bedside—most only coming after he was gone to hear the reading of the will. The world may have thought that she left nothing to her family and yet she left everything. He left much wealth but nothing of eternal value to his family.

This story touched my heart. Just this week my dear great aunt came to my mind. At 94 she still lives alone in her home in Odessa, Texas where she retired a number of years ago. But when I was growing up in Tempe, AZ she lived next door to my family most of my childhood. Aunt “Bill”, as we called her, is the sister of my departed grandmother who passed on 10 years ago. Although I dearly loved my sweet little Mamaw Jewel I only saw her once a year, so truthfully my great aunt had a bigger impact on my life.

I have beautiful memories of living next door to this wonderful woman of God. I remember running next door to see my Aunt Bill. I remember her garden of vegetables and vines of teeny lush grapes. I remember the aromatic sweet pea flowers that grew on the fence between our houses. I remember seeing her sitting on her porch quilting on the huge frame that rolled down from the ceiling of the porch to make it easy for her to quilt. I remember her taking us to church and Sunday school. I remember the neighborhood Bible Class that she taught in her home. Most importantly I remember the day that I accepted Jesus as my Savior in her driveway. What a precious gift.

A few years ago, as I was praying for my dear aunt and thinking about her going to be with God sometime in the near future, the Lord spoke clearly to me. He said that my Aunt Bill would receive the same crowns in glory as Billy Graham. Both are evangelists, both love God and the Word of God with all their hearts, both allowed God to win others to Christ through them. What a very cool thing. Billy spoke to all who came across his path about Jesus and so did Aunt Bill.

When my Aunt enters into those gates of heaven she will leave behind a legacy of truth, servant hood and evangelism. Many have been touched by her, in her neighborhood, the school where she worked for so many years and her church. She will leave behind very little wealth in worldly terms but a fortune in eternal things of God.

It reminds me that as I now have the privilege of being a grandmother, I also have an important responsibility to be the torch bearer, the legacy builder and the standard setter for my grandchildren and the generations to come. It is a sacred honor, one that I cherish and look forward to over whatever time I have here.

Lord, guide us and direct us, let us take seriously and joyously the path you have set before us. May the generations that follow, know and love you with all their hearts and minds.


Tim Kimmel's website http://www.familymatters.net

If at first he doesn't succeed he tries and tries again.

Okay, I must confess that sometimes I actually envy my arch nemesis. As a Christian we all know who that is, at least I hope you know. If you're still wondering here's what our "manufacturer's instruction manual" says:

1 Peter 5:8-9 (English Standard Version)

⁸ Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. ⁹Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

Alrighty then, it's obvious that our enemy is indeed real, dangerous and persistent. That's it--there it is--what I envy--his persistence. He never gives up. He always tries again. He always tries again to pester me, distract me and do anything he can to take my eyes off of my Lord. He knows every hot-button and besetting sin I've got going. If he can't "get" me in one area of my life he'll go after another. If the Holy Spirit has helped me conquer a weakness in my life, then that nasty little guy goes for something else. See what I mean? That's what I admire. I wish I could be that bold and persistent in areas of my life.

So, last week I was visiting my daughter in California. (I am so grateful that I'm able to visit regularly and help her in small ways with her blooming photography biz.) Well, in the wee hours of the morning I had a strange dream. The dream was an old one really--it was an old stronghold--one that grew from a painful experience--but one that has been healed and doesn't plague me anymore. Here's the fun part--I woke up and giggled. I giggled because I knew that my persistent arch nemesis realized that he had lost his hold on me with the primary area of fear in my life (Praise God!) and so he was trying something else. I giggled with glee, shook my finger at him and said "is that all you got?" And, since it was very early in the a.m. and I was already awake and there wasn't much for me to do (Marianne's room is small and stuffed to the gills with her personal stuff and business stuff) I began to intercede as God brought needs to my mind. No sweeter revenge than to foil the enemy's plan to interrupt my sleep than to launch into intercession. I highly recommend it.

I am reminded of the story about Smith Wigglesworth. Smith was a dynamic faith filled preacher during the pentecostal revival 100 years ago. One night Smith was awoken in the middle of the night with this horrible sense of evil. He saw Satan himself standing in his bedroom. He looked Satan in the eye and said, "Oh it's only you", and turned over and went back to sleep.

Hah! That's exactly the truth of the matter. Somehow we've made Satan out to be like one of those ugly horrible creatures we see on TV or in movies (the kind that always seem to win--what is that all about anyway?) Well the truth is that he is already conquered! The end is near for him. All he is really is a pesky gnat that buzzes annoyingly around our minds. We are more than conquerors! Know it and be even more persistent that your arch enemy!!!

^{Romans 8:36}

As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I don't worry, I don't fret, God has never failed me yet

I so wish that I could say that those words (from a song that was popular in the 70's) were true every day for me. I would be delighted to say that every morning I wake up full of faith and no worry.

Alas, it isn't so. I have an enemy that delights in whispering words of fear to me in the wee ours of the morning. That seems to be my most vulnerable time and the trickster must know that. In times past, before I was fully aware that it was indeed an attack, I would wake up in a cold sweat with my mind spinning round and round.

A few years ago, after many years of struggle, God showed me some things that put the problem into perspective for me.

God showed me the source of my anxiety as I looked back at my family and realized that although I was raised in a stable, encouraging family, there was indeed a "history" of anxiety in that family. My grandmother took "nerve" pills for years to combat anxiety. My mother is a wonderful mom, but her anxiety was transmitted to me in subtle ways throughout my life. I adopted an outward peace while feeling anxious inside--masking the fear and thus not dealing directly with that fear.

Praise God that He began working deep within my spirit a few years ago.

First God lead me to begin memorizing scripture. I would walk and memorize the Word every day. This became invaluable a few years ago when we were going through some pretty scary things. When I would wake up with anxiety, unable to sleep, I would repeat those scriptures until I fell back to peaceful sleep. His Word is indeed powerful.

Hebrews 4:12 (The Message)

^12-13God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon's scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God's Word. We can't get away from it—no matter what.

Then, worship music became extremely important to me as a weapon of warfare. Some mornings I get up with the enemy niggling at my brain and instead worship music rises up in me and I blast away at the enemy--singing God's praises. I love it that what the enemy meant for evil, God used for His Worship.

Psalm 71:23 (New International Version)

²³ My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you— I, whom you have redeemed.

Just a couple of years ago God spoke clearly to me that the spirit of fear that was still plaguing me sometimes had to go. I woke up one morning with a strong thought in my mind and in my spirit--today is the day to be prayed over--to seek the unity of the body to "kick the enemy" out. Ever had that happen--not only a strong word from God but also in his graciousness the details are included? God told me exactly who should pray for me! AND that day the pastor indicated that God had showed him that we would need to pray as a body for anyone plagued in 3 areas--one of which was the spirit of fear. WOWZER! Could God be anymore clear. Needless to say I leaped up from my seat (husband just missed me with his elbow) and there standing in the middle of the line of prayer warriors as if a beam of light shown on her was the person God told me was to pray for me. She prayed--with a word of knowledge about my childhood--and the spirit of fear was lifted.

Another cool thing that God did was show me that when I begin to have any anxiety, begin to pray. In fact, I often begin to pray for others. I especially understand how immobilizing fear is--so instead of being stopped in my spiritual tracks--I push forward to go into prayer for other needs in the body. Yahoo!! Hallelujah!! Take that enemy!

Lastly, I revel in the fact that often these days the Holy Spirit starts to do battle for me even before I'm fully awake. I now often wake up with the Holy Spirit "fighting" back at the enemy with the Word of God or worship music--praising God. How glorious! Instead of waking up in a cold sweat, I wake up singing God's praises--what the enemy meant for evil, God uses for God.

So instead of being like our dear Chicken Little--looking up to see if the sky is falling, let's look up to God and expect Him to be our source of peace.

Philippians 4:6-7

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life

Color Me Katie

Today Marianne shared a wonderful blog with me.

Katie is a marvelous street artist in New York who shares a special kind of joy. I encourage you to go to her blog and enjoy her fun form of art. I know it will make you laugh and giggle and even marvel at how inventive and creative she is.
It occurred to me that this amazing young lady was indeed a woman of purpose. She has incorporated her God given talents into a fascinating and fun adventure of life.

http://colormekatie.blogspot.com

She spreads joy while at the same captures that joy in photos that delight and inspire. She encourages others to use her ideas to inspire your own creativity and to bring some happiness to the world around you.


I love her "thought bubbles" and her "shadows". She also incorporates other fun and happy activities that are happening around New York City where she lives. I am inspired to follow in her footsteps. To find that childlike part of me to invent, create and just go for it in reaching out to bring some happiness to the world.


I realized as Tiara Ladies tiaraladies.com we are doing the same thing. We don our tiaras and go out into the world to encourage women to know who they are in Christ. To bestow a tiara upon them to remind that them God created them beautiful, with gifts and talents only they bring to the world. To inspire them to have fun and do the things they've always wanted to do. To spread joy and a message of hope to others.

The Extra Cake Mile

Don't you just love reality TV? What an amazing phenomenon. "real" people doing "real" things in "real" life. It's really a hoot and I've got to say that I'm enamored with several of them. The latest and greatest is Cake Boss.

For those uninitiated, this is a reality show about a bakery featuring Buddy Valastro of Carlo's City Hall Bake Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey. I love the New Jersey accents, humor and wild interactions. It's so much fun to see the amazing artistry of this baker and his staff. They create unique, creative cakes of all kinds. Apparently they produce 40-50 wedding cakes alone in a week. Very fun to watch.

The latest episode actually pointed out a remarkable Biblical principal (Pretty sure that wasn't the point of the program).

The episode featured a "bridezilla" who came into the bakery to order her wedding cake. Mother and daughter were not entirely on the same page about the design but Buddy managed to get what he thought was a meeting of the minds. He sketched out the cake, wrote of the work order in detail and thoroughly covered the design--a lovely, 3 layer round, white on white cake with beautiful hand-molded lilies drifting down the cake and a roped drape flowing from top to bottom. All His cakes are gorgeous and this one was no exception.

Well, the day prior to the wedding the bride drops by unexpectedly to see the cake. Surprised, but happy to show off his creation, Buddy takes the bride to the cake. He expects to see exclamations of joy and happiness but instead these words come of her mouth "I hate it". She demands that he make a new cake for her wedding the next day. He leaves to talk to his team to see what he can do and while he is out of the room she grabs piping bags and globs multi colored frosting all over the cake--totally making it unusable. Obviously her motivation was to force him to make a new cake.

Good grief! Are people this crazy? His first reaction is what mine would have been. He tells her since he didn't have time to make a new one she could just have the ruined one. Irritated he calls her mom and tells her that her daughter has ruined the cake. He has no time to do a new cake but after listening to a weeping, apologetic mother of the bride, he acquiesces and tells his very upset and reluctant crew that they would indeed make a new cake. Not just any cake (which what I would have done) but this time a 5 layer spectacular quilt patterned cake with amazing sculptured vivid handcrafted flowers all over the cake. The staff stays late to do this over the top gorgeous cake (of course with grumbling but still with perfection).

He hand delivers the cake himself the next day, expecting gratitude from the mom (which he got) and a good reaction from the bride (who refused to come out to see him or the cake). Amazing! How is it possible that this unhappy, self-centered girl would be so outrageous?

What would you do if this happened to you? Have you ever experienced an insult so drastic that you wanted to retaliate? I know what my first inclination would be and it wouldn't be to make it bigger and better. But that's what he did. He went that extra mile--not because she was appreciative or even nice. He did it because he felt it was the right thing to do.

I don't know about you, but this was a huge reminder of what we are supposed to do. We are not of this world, where most things are tit for tat, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Walking in the Kingdom of God is understanding that people can be self-centered without Christ (and sorry to say with Him too). BUT as followers of Christ, temples of the Holy Spirit, we are called to turn the other cheek, give more and even when forced to go a mile, we choose to go the extra mile.

I know that put things into a godly perspective for me. How about you?

Matthew 5:39-41 (English Standard Version)

³⁹But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.

The fear that matters most

Ever have God repeat himself to you? Sometimes He has to shout at me over my car radio while I'm singing loudly along with the worship music on the radio. Praise God He is so patient with me and keeps trying to make His point.

Recently, our personal economy tanked along with the nation's economy. In the past, finances were definitely a place of fear for me. It didn't matter if we had a lot or a little--I still allowed the enemy to use this fear against me. Weirdly enough the fear that hung over me all these years--the fear of "what if" is for the first time rather close at hand. Sort of like the thing that I feared has come upon me. Ever do that? Worry about the "what ifs?" How about what if I get sick and can't work? What if I get laid off again? What if my spouse no longer loves me? What if my kids get into drugs? I'm talking about fears that have no foundation in fact--purely what ifs.

Let me say that I don't believe that we can make our fears come upon us. Rather, sadly, we waste a lot of time worrying about tomorrow rather than enjoying the day that God has given us. Personally, when I hear those "voices" in my head I'm now quicker to throw my hand in the air and say to the enemy "talk to the hand" or better yet say to the enemy "See that big guy right beside me? I might be weak and pibbly, but He is Strong. To get to me you gotta go through Him! And that ain't going to happen. So there!!!!!"

Praise God, He is bringing us peace, joy and faith smack dab in the middle of a shaky time. In fact, as we were saying at home church yesterday, we really should be panicking but instead there's peace around us and an extra bonus is that God has been speaking to our hearts more than ever before. We serve a great God.

So as I was driving along the other day and the enemy started to speak those same lines again to me, God shouted over the loud blaring radio in my car and said again. "Finances? that's nothing to worry about, it's your heart that I desire."

I knew exactly what He meant. Finances are not worth worrying about--that's easy for God, but a heart that does not hear His voice--that's what I should fear.

So, I have determined that I will take the time that I used to spend worrying and use it to praise and seek a great and awesome God who doesn't mind shouting at me to make a point. Want to join me?

Philippians 4:6-7 (English Standard Version)

⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Fruit of the Spirit

Our Home Church is studying Galatians 5.
Check it out at:


http://churchonrogers.blogspot.com

Extreme Grandparenting

Being a Grandparent is the best thing in the entire world! I loved being a mom but this grandma thing is amazing!! Where else can you get total adoration? There's never a doubt in my mind--I am loved by that adorable creature that God placed in the arms of my wonderful son and amazing daughter-in-law. Most days I can't stop smiling ear to ear--wondering do I look as silly-happy as I feel?

So, when I found out that Tim Kimmel and his wife wrote a book called Extreme Grandparenting--I thought that's the book for me and began pouring through it. So much great advice to grandparents. It is definitely a high calling to be a grandparent.

Well, ever had this happen? You are at some activity or meeting and you sort of feel something niggling at the back of your mind? You kind of have an idea that God is trying to tell you something very important but it's only half formed in your mind? So, I get home from that activity, pick up this book and had that Ah-ha moment--that's the key--that's the answer.

So here's what happened. I attended a pro-life youth seminar the other day. It was super--the young ladies putting it together spoke with passion and the teens warmed up to the information. By the end of the day they were asking good questions in response to the transparent presentations of these 2 caring young women. At the end of the day, the youth pastor gave an invitation--a pretty much--if you want God to do things for you and hear your prayers and you don't want to go to hell type of invitation. Obviously, there was some truth in what he said (and some not so truth) but mostly it was the way he delivered the info--the scare tactics minus the good part. I kept thinking this isn't what these kids need to hear. Then I got home, picked up the book and realized what it was.

Tim Kimmel says there's 3 crucial things that grandparents need to impart to their grandkids

1. A secure love--loving them for who they are--their unique design
   
2. A significant purpose--affirming that God has given them gifts and talents to be used for His Glory
   
3. A sufficient hope--that using their unique design and gifts and talents they can make a contribution and in fact possibly change the world for God
   

Ah-ha!!! Isn't that exactly what we need to impart to our kids in a world that has little hope, wrong purposes and love that is conditional?

That's what God was showing me--it's right to tell young people that they are sinners and need Jesus, but we must impart the above three things--to offer the grace to them that God gives to us.

Interesting isn't it? How God takes a book about grand parenting and dramatically brings into focus my whole concept of what teens need. Praise God!

Lord, forgive my unbelief

I was tooling along yesterday, listening to K-Love, and out of the blue came a quiet voice in my spirit. "I will never leave you nor forsake you. Have I not been faithful to you every time you called on me?" My only answer could be "Lord, you are faithful, your assurances and promises are true. Forgive my unbelief".

I remembered that phrase from Mark and looked up the passage


MARK 9
14When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. 15As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

16"What are you arguing with them about?" he asked.

17A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."

19"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me."

20So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

21Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"

"From childhood," he answered. 22"It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

23" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

24Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

25When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil[a] spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."

26The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." 27But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

The disciples apparently couldn't cast out the demons, so the father went to Jesus. Here's an interesting part--the father says "if you can, cast out the demon" Jesus replied (I love this) "If I can?" Can you just hear Jesus saying that kind of like "what do you mean, if I can?". Jesus then says-"all things are possible to them who believe." Then the father replied, "I do believe, help my unbelief". And then what happened? Jesus cast out the demon. He didn't say, "apparently you don't believe all the way or hmmmm--you're almost there--catch me later." No! He cast the demon out.

Now that's a loving God--he understands that our faith meter sometimes just can't quite get to the full line (or much off the empty mark in most cases) The super cool part is that God does know our hearts, (our fallible, holey hearts) but still loves us and still hears our cries. There it is--

Mustard grain belief + heart for God = KABLOOM!!! Wondrous things happening all around us.

So today, look up at God and say Lord, I believe, help my unbelief and thank him that He is an awesome, mighty God who will never leave you nor forsake you.


Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

God's Perpetual Purpose

This morning I was thinking about my mom and dad--I do that a lot lately. My dad is approaching severe stages of Alzheimers and we just recently encouraged my mom to place him in a group home where he could receive skilled care. The good news is that he is adapting as well as can be expected. And more good news--my mom is getting used to him being there. What Mom has a challenge with is finding purpose in her life. She is no longer a caregiver 24/7 like she has been for a number of years. She is 80 years old, in good health and now must find "new" purpose. Fortunately, she was a woman who had many extracurricular activities throughout her life and given some encouragement will be able to do those things again.

Thinking about my 80 year old parents always brings me back to the wonderful residents at the nursing home I minister to monthly. How do you find purpose in a closed environment like a nursing home? It's not easy to go beyond those things that you "did" in your past history to find new purpose or to think beyond what you know to do. In many cases their eyes do not see so good, their hands do not work so well, their legs most certainly will not move them from place to place anymore. How do you live within the purpose that you were created for without the faculties that you've had for all those many years? How do you get that feeling back that you are a help to others? No longer are you caring for others, no longer are you able to impart the wisdom of their years of experience. It is so easy to feel useless and lost.

We teach women in our Pathway to Purpose seminars and one to one coaching that their primary purposes do not change, but the way that the purpose works itself out most certainly changes with each new season of our lives. For instance, many women experience what is commonly called "empty nest syndrome". Their purpose for 20 years or more was to raise their children to love God and love others. Mission accomplished--what's next? For the elderly, they've been through several seasons and now in the final season it's difficult for them to see how they could possibly be of use to anyone.

But, God always has plans for us. He always puts us in a place where we can be used. We can always fulfill our "primary directives" no matter where we are, no matter what physical limitations we have, no matter what others tell us.

What does the Word of God tell us to do?

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Thessalonians 5:16-18 (New King James Version)

In fact, when we have more physical limitations, we have more time to rejoice, PRAY and to give thanks. Personally, I cherish the idea that the elderly pray for me and my family. I remember a dear woman of God at New Life Church who prayed several hours a day for every family in the church. Imagine that? How wonderful! To be able to go to the throne of the Grace of God to pray? Is there any other purpose on this earth more valuable than that? Is there any other place that a child of God should want to be?

Child of God, always remember that God has purpose for you. It may look differently than in the past, you may not have the same abilities to work within that purpose as you did in the past, but you are still called by God for purpose. How do you rediscover your purpose within the confines of your current life? First seek and love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, then ask Him to open your spiritual eyes to who he made you to be and what He is doing all around you. Allow your purpose to be a part of the awesome plan of God.

Following her purpose

Laura Staszewski

Sometimes we think that the only really "called" purpose is one directly in "ministry." For instance, pastor, youth pastor, missionary etc. In the coming days I will be posting links to blogs of women who are indeed following their purpose whether they are "in ministry" or in ministry in their own world.

I found this first one when googling images for our tiaraladies website. I wanted some tiara pics and found this logo. It brought me to Laura Staszewski and her blog. What a wonderful woman of God, leaving family and friends to serve in a foreign mission. I love that she sees herself as a princess. Enjoy reading her blog.

http://lauraom.blogspot.com/

Crazy Love

Crazy Love--Lord teach me to love you so much that others will see you in me and think "she is crazy in love with Jesus."

I knew when we picked up Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love" that it would bring conviction and confirmation to my spirit. For some time God has been telling me that I need to fall deeper and deeper in love with Him. I, in fact, know that if I crave God more than anything else in my life He will fill me to overflowing with His love. This overflow is what will give me the heart to love others deeply, to feel their pain, and to be a conduit for the Holy Spirit to comfort and draw others into that same love relationship with God. God who created them to have fellowship with Him.
So that's where the conviction overtook me--Francis doesn't pull any punches in his call to "Christians" to examine their walk with God. He tells us that we're either all in or all out.

Revelation 3:15-17 (ESV)

15"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot.(A) Would that you were either cold or hot! 16So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked

Lukewarm? Not me God. Lord, how can that be? My goodness, I assist my husband in pastoring a house church, I minister at the nursing home, I'm part of several ministries to women, I love to do life purpose coaching, I find ways to encourage and teach younger women like Titus 3 says to do, I spend time in prayer and Bible study, I do all I can for my aging parents, I pray for my children and the generations to come. Lukewarm? How can it be that my heart cries out that I miss the mark so often? Why?

Okay, here comes the conviction part:

Deuteronomy 6:5-6
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

Matthew 22:36-38 (ESV)
36"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" 37 And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment

All my heart? Lord, I wish I could say that. Lord, I really want to say it. Lord, forgive me. Forgive my arrogance and pride in those things I "do" for you. Draw me into your lap as a young child Lord so I can hear your heartbeat and my heartbeat can join with yours. Break my heart with those things in the world that break yours that I might feel the desperate needs of others and respond with my whole being--not just the pittance that I offer you. The pittance that is comfortable, that I get satisfaction out of--a mere pittance of what you want from me--to love you with my whole heart, mind, soul and strength.

Remind me of your awesome power, your awesome love--the creator who came down to sacrifice Himself so that I can experience that awesome love and feel the awesome power in me and around me and in the world.

Lord, as I read Francis'chapter "People of the Lukewarm", as I saw the list of what lukewarm people will do or be like, I knew that in too many ways I could be called lukewarm. Am I willing to step beyond my comfort zone and throw caution to the wind? To allow myself to trust you so much that I risk it all. Lord I am willing to strip down my life so that I can more fully give my life to you and to others.

Lord, I want to be able to say that through your grace I want to be able to truly

Love God, Love Others and make disciples as I go

Freedom is just a moment away.

My wonderful hubby has a great blog entry on making a choice--to live in our pain of the past or to choose to be free to live in our destiny.

Check it out:

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=83714503563&h=q-sw_&u=5tFU3&ref=nf

Fresh Starts even in a Senior Home

This week I had the privilege of ministering at a local Senior Care Home. This ministry has been a blessing to me for several years. I go along with my dear friend Bambi who was the one responsible for encouraging me to be involved. We joyfully minister to these dear saints with hymns, Bible devotions and prayer.

Monday was a miraculous meeting for us. We felt the Holy Spirit moving throughout the hearts of the dear ladies who attended. We saw the tears of joy and hope that came into those sweet aged eyes.

I met Gertrude, a marvelous saint who smiled with the joy of years with God in her heart. She could no longer see with her eyes, but perhaps that allowed her to see more deeply into the heart of God. I met Lois who told me that she had ministered in her church for 64 years in playing the organ and the piano. She planned to teach children who could not afford to take piano lessons as soon as her leg was better in rehab. She wept for me when I shared that my own father was in a group home because of the ravage of Alzheimers in his mind. Dear, dear soul. How I cherish the thought that she will be praying for me.

We prayed for women who could no longer form thoughts enough to speak, to those who wept for their families. For Pauline I prayed that God would comfort her--the last of her family--she cried when she told me that she was so lonely, but could agree with me that she still had God to comfort and would at the called time be joining them--how they must be saying "we can't wait to see our dear Pauline". I looked into the sad eyes of a small woman and could only utter to her over and over, "you are forgiven, you are forgiven" as a tear trailed down her cheek.

The message God gave me to speak to the group was "A Fresh Start". That morning God spoke deeply into my spirit. That each day is a fresh start. I read from

2 Corinthians 5:14-21
Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.

"Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you.

How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.

A Fresh Start, whether we have known the Lord for 64 years or have never met him. This verse assures us that we can have a fresh start--a fresh start for a new life or a fresh start this very day because we've fallen away from God (in a big or small way).